As I closed the front door to my house and pressed my back to it, I let out a long breath and tried to think about how we had all ended up in our current positions or lifestyles.
I heard my mom clinking bowls and glasses together in the kitchen as she started to make dinner, and usual, my father was no where to be found.
I started up the stairs to take my shower, absentmindedly grabbing my jeans and shirt on the floor from the day before off my bedroom floor. I stepped into the bathroom and undressed myself, stepped into the shower, and turned on the water.
I was in one of those times when you suddenly can’t stop thinking about something that had been going on for a while, and this time happened to be about my friends and their families.

Let’s start with me; mine’s the easiest to explain. I get along great with my mother, and not so well with my father because he was never home or always out drinking or ‘working’ or something. Not much to say.
Gabbi’s family was pretty much the same, but she got along great with both her parents. We were both only children.
Gunner was sort of on the fence with his family. He didn’t love his parents, but he didn’t hate them either.
Adrien and Shane were pretty much the same; both getting along okay with their mothers and terrible with their fathers. Pushing them for success, punishing too harshly; pretty much never getting along.
And now we have the not-so-simple cases.
Blake’s mom died when he was little, too little to even remember her. His father was a raving drunk and was, well, abusive in every sense of the word. I constantly wondered how he stayed so laid back all the time, but I would never actually ask him that.
Lane’s parents divorced when he was little, his father disappearing off the face of the earth. He got along pretty well with his mother, but he also had four younger siblings that needed constant attention, so he was neglected at times and usually kept to himself. That is, when he wasn’t with a girlfriend or with us.
There was Rae, but with all her lies and compulsive habits, we weren’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. Her father was abusive, or so she says, her parents were divorced, which is why they still lived together, her older siblings were adopted, but she wasn’t, and the list went on and on. We weren’t sure what was real and what wasn’t.
Then there was Elana. She hated both her parents in every way. She always looked so nicely and dressed so expensively and was oh, so polite and kind, but that wasn’t who she wanted to be. Her parents made her that way. By force.
Last, there was Alice. There aren’t really appropriate words to describe her situation. Her parents were gone most of the time: work, friends, party, or maybe sometimes they just forget. But when they were around, they completely ignored her. And by completely, I mean they come home, make sure she’s not dead or on her back, and then don’t pay a second thought. But her mother just had this way of making her hate herself. I don’t really know how; I’ve almost never been to her house. That’s why Alice doesn’t go home: she has nothing to go home to.


I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy white towel around myself and another one around my head. I ran my hand over the mirror to clear the steam and looked at myself. Short dark hair, red dye over it and fading to a dull glow, small frame, medium height; nothing too special.
I opened the door to the bathroom, the steam rushing out, and I started to my bedroom again.
My room was light blue and had an ocean theme going on, seashells and turtles everywhere. My teal drapes were waving in the wind of my open windows and my bubble bedspread was still molded into a circle from how I had slept the night before.
I remember when I decided I wanted my room like this; it had been at least a year or two. It was over the summer and I rallied up everyone who wasn’t on vacation or busy with a summer job or something, so it ended up just being me and Alice.
Alice loved painting, drawing, pretty much art in general. And damn, she was good at it. Her pictures were always in school artshows and things, though she never, ever flaunted her talent. If anything, she didn’t want her work to be recognized, for a reason that I couldn’t possibly imagine.
But that day was crazy in every sense of the term. Paint was thrown, carpets were colored, wrong walls were painted wrong colors, and so many clothes now had blue splotches on them. And we never stopped laughing.
I miss days like those.


I grabbed some clothes off my floor which I figured were my jeans from yesterday and the shirt I slept in, and slipped them on. I walked over to my window and looked at the view; you could see most of the small town from my window. I could barely make out the figures of my friends as they walked together back to The Usual Spot: Blake and Lane walking side by side, Alice trailing a few steps behind them. Struck me as odd, but I simply shrugged and walked to my door, my hand hovering on the knob as I heard my mother talking downstairs.
“I need to ask him about it tonight. I just need to come right out and say ‘Honey, why do your clothes from the other night smell like perfume?’”
I felt my eyes widen slightly as I slowly creaked my door open and started down the stairs and to the kitchen. My mom’s back was to me and she was standing before the sink washing dishes, her eyes staring blankly out the window in front of her.
“It’s not that hard… C’mon, Susanne, get a grip on yourself. Just ask.”
“Mom…?” I said quietly. I crept up beside her and leaned my arm on the counter.
“But I can’t… I don’t want to scare Amy… Wha-Amy?!” She turned and looked at me. “H-Hey, sweetie. What, are you actually offering to wash dishes for once?” There was a certain nervousness as she put a laugh in her words, but that’s not what scared me.
Her lips weren’t moving when she spoke before she said saw I was there.
- - -

I poked at my spaghetti with my fork as I stared at it. Mom was still working on bringing everything to the table, and Dad was upstairs putting his work stuff in the office or something.
“Hey Mom…?” I asked quietly.
“Hm?” Her face was in the fridge as she was looking for something.
“…What were you talking about earlier?”
“When?”
“When I came into the kitchen…”
She turned and looked at me, putting a hand on her hip. “Honestly, Honey? You never do the dishes. I was hoping for once in your life I wasn’t going to have to drag you by your toes to put some soap on a rag and-“
“N-No, I mean before that…”
She cocked an eyebrow at me. “What?”
I raised my eyes to meet hers. “When you were talking before I came into the kitchen; you were talking to yourself. What did-“
She gave me a look that was a combination of confusion and worry. “Baby, I didn’t say anything…”
I sat up a little straighter and leaned forward slightly. “You did. You totally did.”
“Did not.”
“Did too! I heard you!”
She let out a laugh and turned back to the fridge. “You’re hearing things.”
“It was about Dad!”
She stopped moving for a moment, before continuing what she was doing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said flatly, with the type of tone that said ‘This conversation is over.’

I stared down at my plate as my dad came into the room, a blank expression on his face. After a few moments, Mom came and sat down with us.
And the silence was deafening.

Chew. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Clank. Clank. Sip. Gulp. Clank. Clank. Swirl. Swirl. Swirl. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Clank.
Crunch. Chew. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Crunch. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Clank. Sip. Gulp. Gulp.
Stab. Stab. Stab. Clank. Clank. Stab. Clank. Crunch. Munch. Crunch. Clank. Stab.
(The last one was me.)

I couldn’t get my mind off of it. It had been my mom’s voice, but she wasn’t talking? Maybe I was just going crazy. Wouldn’t be surprising.
I never realized how quiet the table always was until this night. Not a word was said, and it made me uneasy. I quickly finished what was left of my food (or what wasn’t too stabbed to eat) and pushed my chair out from the table and stood, taking my plate in my hands and started to the kitchen.
“Just say it…”
I stopped in front of the sink, the water that was steadily increasing in temperature running on my hand. I dropped my dishes into the sink with a clink and walked backwards into the dining room again.
“What?”
Mom looked at me. “Huh?”
“D-…Di-Did you say anything?”
She gave me a sympathetic look. “Honey, are you okay? Come’ere, lemme see if you have a fever-“
“I-I’m okay,” I quickly replied and started for the door.
“Where are you going?” My father asked me in a dark tone.
My hand paused on the door handle and I stared out the crooked glass windows on either side of the door. So close. “Out with my friends?”
He let out a disapproving grunt. I turned to him. “What, are my friend not good enough for you?”
A scowl crossed his lips and growled, “I didn’t say that.” But I looked him  in the eyes with a slight glare and I heard “They’re bad people; I’m just waiting for you to get hurt before you see that.”
My eyes widened and in a swift move, I turned, opened the door, and sprinted out, letting it slowly close by itself.
Why did his lips not move either?

- - -

I ran down the center of the street, all the food – or lack thereof – wanting to jump back out. But I just kept running until I reached The Usual Spot and fell to my knees as I gasped for breath.
“W-Wait… Th-This isn’t…”
My eyes slowly glided upward and I saw Lane and Alice with their backs to me, Lane a little closer to Alice than usual, his hand on her shin and his face close to hers.
“Hey.”
Lane nearly jumped out of his skin as he quickly turned to me. “H-Hey, Amy. Y-ou‘re back soon…”
“I am.” I gave him a curious look and shifted my eyes to Alice for a moment before back to him. I tilted my head slightly.
I saw him gulp, but he just grinned sheepishly and shrugged. He slid his hand off of Alice and she did a full body shudder, let out a slow even breath, and stood, her legs wobbling slightly. She walked over to me and made a face at me. I pulled her close to me. “What just happened?”
She blinked at me. “Huh?”
“Y-You and Lane. What ju-“
“Am, what are you talking about?”
My eyes widened and I felt my head become light. “… Alice. You were just sitting next to Lane and his hand was on your leg and-“
Her eyes widened slightly. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, then back at me. “…Uh…?”
“’Uh…?’”
“I… I dunno...” she looked down at the ground, seemingly lost in thought.
I could feel Lane’s eyes on us, and burning a hole in me.

But at the sound of thumping coming over the hill, I peered over my friends to see Shane and Adrien walking up the hill side by side, kicking a soccer ball back and forth through the air as they did.
“Look… what… I found!” Shane said proudly between kicks.
“It was on the other side of the fence from the soccer field. Guess they forgot it; practice is over. More fun for us!” Adrien added and popped the ball up into the air with his foot and headbutted it to Shane, who kicked it to my stomach, but I caught it before it could impact me.
“Please refrain from kicking me in my uterus, please. Thank you,” I laughed and threw the ball back at him.

“Boo!!”
I suddenly felt two arms wrap around my neck from behind in a tight hug. I gasped, but leaned forward, sending the perpetrator off the ground and being carried on my back. “Wh-Whoa! A-Amy, cut it out!!” she laughed and I couldn’t help the smile on my lips as I spun around in a few tight circles before letting her feet touch the earth once more.
“Hey, Elana.”
The girl giggled as she pulled her blonde locks from her eyes as she peered at us through her bright blue orbs. “What, you guys thought I wouldn’t see you at all today?” She took a step forward and kicked the soccer ball straight up out of Adrien’s hands and caught it. She smiled. “So, who wants to play? Simple game?”

- - -

The rest of us slowly rejoined the group, save for Rae and Gunner, but Shane was the first of us to ask, "Hey, where's Blake?"
Lane popped the soccer ball into the air and headbutted it to Alice. "Dunno. Said he had to go home real quick for something or something."
Alice caught the ball and placed it on her hip, holding it in place with her arm. "'Real quick'? Hasn't it been too long for just 'real quick'?" She vollied the ball to Gabbi.
"Hey, don't ask me," Lane replied. "He was quiet for a while and suddenly got up to leave, sayin' he'd be back soon. 'Sall there was."
Gabbi kicked the ball across the circle we had formed to me, and I kicked it over to Shane before saying, "Well maybe he had something to do?"
Over to Adrien. "Naw, he would'a said something if he actually had something to do."
To Elana. "Well, maybe. But it's like the same with Gunner; he's not back yet." She glanced over at our pile of bookbags. "...Huh. Blake's stuff is gone... Did he take it home?" She popped the ball into the air and kicked it at Lane's stomach, who caught it, but needed to take a few steps back to do so as not to fall over.
"Uh, maybe? I don't know." He shrugged and continued the exciting game of kick-the-ball-in-a-circle.

A silence had settled over us, that after about twenty minutes was broken by the slow steps of dragging feet on grass. I guess I was the only one that heard, because no one looked up, save for when the figure came up the hill.
"Dudes, can I stay at somebody's place tonight?"
I think out of all of us, Gabbi was the first to actually get the words 'Oh, my god' out.
His right eye had a dark bruise around it, his dark hair not doing a good enough job trying to cover it. His lip was split and a faded smeared trail of blood came from the corner of his mouth. He was holding his upper right arm with his opposite hand.
"What happened, man?" Lane breathed.
Blake shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Just, somebody? Couch? Something?"
"Y-You can stay at mine..." Shane said quietly, and the dark haired boy actually cracked somewhat of smile in return; a broken smile, but a smile all the same.
"Thanks, dude..."

Our nonexistent soccer game ended and we all laid on our backs and watch what was left of the sun settle as if the dark blue-black that was the night was chasing it away.
"It's Thursday," Adrien announced suddenly, but in a somewhat broken way.
"...It is," Alice echoed back.
There was a long pause. He took in a deep breath, as if it hurt, before replying quietly, "T-Tomorrow... Y-You guys wanna leave?"
And there it was.
It was like a weight had been both taken off our shoulders and added at the same time.
I saw Shane make a concerned glance at him before turning his attention back to the darkening sky. Adrien was never really one to make the offer of leaving for the weekend, so we knew something was wrong. But dare we ask what?
No. Of course not.
All we said was 'alright' and that someone needs to tell the rest of our party the plans.
But I could swear I heard somebody crying, but looking at the faces of my friends, I saw that I was mistaken, though the sound still quietly echoed in my head.



“Run and tell all of the angels… this could take all night… Think I need a devil to help me get things right…” Alice sat up, resting her elbows on her knees, but kept her face forward to the dark crimson what was left of the sky.
“Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie,” Elana sat up also, Followed by Shane.
“We sat around laughing and watched the last one die…”

A few more of us joined in on our small, soft-spoken, somewhat out of tune choir. “And I’m looking to the sky to save me; Looking for a sign of life; Looking for something to help me burn out bright.”
On those weekends we would leave, sometimes we would all go to a Best Buy and search out their Rock Band set up and just belt it out for hours on end. We could all play all the positions, so we would find what setup worked to get the best score for each song. ‘Learn To Fly’ happened to be one of our best songs.
“I’m looking for a complication; Looking cause I’m tired of lying; Make my way back home when I learn to fly…”

The streetlights started to light up down the street, a sign that most of us had to be home soon. We all started to stagger up and over to our things, a few of us still singing and the rest humming the melody. A cool breeze whipped over all of us, a sign that summer wasn’t quiet here yet, as if teasing us to say that we couldn’t stay out later.
We all gave hugs goodbye and started off in pairs or small groups depending on the street our houses were on. I turned to see if Alice had all her things (she lived down the street from me) only to see her staring blankly before her with her arms extended out to her sides.
“Alice?” I took a few steps toward her. “You ready?”
“Fly along with me, I can’t quite make it alone… Try to make this life my own…”
I smiled and rolled my eyes, humming the melody as I turned and started away. “C’mon, girly. Let’s go home; it’s getting cold.”
“Make my way back home when I learn to fly…”



I laid on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, my fingers laced behind my head and my left ankle on my right knee. The house was quiet, but I could hear my parents talking downstairs. The mobile of stars that was hooked to the chain of my fan twirled slowly in a circle, then back the way it came. Kind of like my mind at the moment.

It was just so… bizarre.
What happened at dinner… what happened with Lane and Alice… I just couldn’t wrap my head around it or come up with even a vague reason. So I didn’t. I rolled over and folded my arms over my head so my elbows were touching and stared out the space between my drapes and the window at the abyss of the sky. There weren’t any stars out.
Maybe it was just me; this day. Or at least that’s what I was hoping: nothing more would happen and I wouldn’t keep hearing things that weren’t there and that tomorrow at school would be normal, and after school, we would do our giant collaborative lie about sleeping over at someone’s house, and that person would say they were going to someone else’s, and on and on. We would leave for the weekend and return Saturday or even Sunday morning, and then not leave The Usual Spot until that night. School would be Monday and we would just go about our simple lives.


Hah. ‘Simple.’ That’s what I thought, too.


- - -